Those of you who follow the MoCCA Who's Who are undoubtedly familiar with the original lineup, and you might have noticed that a certain founding member is no longer counted among our ranks. And we are far better off! This is the best Who's Who ever, possibly due to the lack of Kaz! What need have we of that traitor?

If you'll recall, last year a creep crept out of the woodwork claiming that he had created our beloved Hippysack. Nothing could be further from the truth, as documented below, yet the urban legend persists. He even went so far as to put out a competing bootleg MoCCA Who's Who, although it was very shoddily produced and apparently very few were sold.

Did S. Percival McIntyre or his cronies sucker you into paying money for this? If so, show it to us at the Art Fest and we'll make it up to you with a free Hippysack T-Shirt (while supplies last).

But the true Who's Who coup is that we managed to steal two artists from the McIntyre camp! Rick Altergott and Ariel Bordeaux had been duped into dealing with this dink, but once his checks bounced they wised up and joined the side of righteousness! Take that, "Sock Puppet" McIntyre!

Sadly, with those two steps forward there was one (tiny) step back. The soft-headed Kaz succumbed to the dark side and is now working with our nemesis on something-or-other. It'll probably never see the light of day, and even if it does it can't possibly compare to the real MoCCA Who's Who! Where's your "chicken pants" now, chump?

"Rock" Altergott and Ariel Bordeaux in exchange for Kaz? Now that's a helluva good deal!

Recently, we at the MoCCA Who's Who received this rather disturbing letter. We understand that anytime someone creates something that becomes an overnight sensation, a cultural phenomenon, screwballs will crawl out of the woodwork to try and claim they had something to do with it. Well, we at Who's Who will not be intimidated by these petty dirt merchants. We shan't go down without a fight! We are currently accepting submissions for the first volume of our benefit anthology, tentatively titled "Legal 'Sacktion Comix." Although we have been advised by the CBLDF not to respond, we feel that we must publicly set the record straight. Therefore, here is the letter, along with our retort.

Dear Sir or Madam:

I am positively outraged by the ridiculous claim that anyone other than I, S. Percival McIntyre, am the creator of America's most beloved cartoon character, Hippiesack (please note the CORRECT spelling). I don't know who this "John K" is, if that is his name, but anyone who has even the most tenuous grasp of comics history knows that Hippiesack first appeared in issue #3 of my comic book Dufus, published May 1987. Mr. "K" at least thought to change Hippiesack's signature hat slightly. The true Hippiesack's hat sports a carnation, not a clover.

Far worse is the additional bastardization of my trademarked character by the other contributors to your shoddy little pamphlet. The real Hippiesack would never be caught dead wearing a straw hat, nor would he ever allow a bird to land on his nose. What could be more outlandish? Clearly you are a sad group of untalented losers. Plus you are all obviously homosexual. Mr. Lieb [sic], Mr. Burns, Mr. Tomine, your children fool no one.

Mr. Kazimieras G. Praluopenis is a dual offender by crudely attempting to approximate the young Hippiesack in your second edition of Who's Who from 2003. My vastly superior character Preppiesack first appeared in the story "The Secret Origin of Hippiesack" in Dufus #12, published October 1987.

I demand a public apology from everyone involved. I demand that all existing copies of Who's Who 2004 as well as 2003 be destroyed. If I can track down a copy of the first Who's Who (2002) and find any similar copyright infringement, I demand that they be destroyed too. I demand an additional apology for not being included in the Who's Who since I have been an exhibitor since the MoCCA Art Festival's inception, and expect to be included in next year's edition.

Until you have complied to my satisfaction, consider yourselves sued.

Yours truly,

Mr. Kuramoto responds:

First, while my name is in fact John Kuramoto, I am professionally known as John K. There are others who have adopted the moniker in recent memory, but to the best of my knowledge I was the first to use it. Second, I had never seen or even heard of "Dufus" when I created Hippysack, so I couldn't very well have stolen the character, consciously or otherwise. It is true that I had consumed a certain quantity of controlled substances at the time, but they had not yet kicked in. Third, the correct spelling is HIPPYSACK. Although I freely admit that Mr. Tomine came up with the name and started the trend that has since rocketed me to fame and fortune, his input was minimal at best and he by no means deserves "a piece of the action." Fourth, the fact that I have taken a twelve-year vow of celibacy does not imply that I am a gay. However, I can neither confirm nor deny the sexual inclinations of my fellow Who's Who cartoonists. There may be some truth, though, to the claim that Kaz ripped off Preppiesack. Compare his drawing to panel 3 on page 16 of Dufus #12.